Facebook Birthday

It was my birthday yesterday. The time when I would painstakingly plan a party, whittle my guest list down to the allowed number by my parents and worry oh so much over what I wore to said party is over. Dare I say it? I think I'm middle-aged.
I'm definitely not a twenty-something. I'm a good chunk from over-the-hill. But still, it kinda feels middle-y.

Instead of a party, I hope for extra naps, a good book (check!), eating without monitoring someone else's pie-hole, and maybe if I'm super lucky money to spend on ME (check and check). It was a nice birthday. I got what I wanted pretty much.

I got the requisite phone calls and emails from family. Dad will visit; spent time with Mom (she paid my house cleaners! woot!); brother and SIL called and we caroused; Aunt B called; Aunt A emailed - they're sick but we're doing dinner in a few days; got a card and promised gift from my Grandma; a card and VERY nice gift from my Grandpa; gift and card from my MIL, who's visiting; a great book from my other super SIL; gift on it's way from Hubby. I am very blessed.

But this year was a bit different. I joined Facebook a few months back. And I've accumulated a couple hundred 'friends'. I enjoy seeing what other people are doing now that I haven't seen or heard from in years. But it is a bit odd to receive such heartfelt birthday wishes from them when some of us haven't spoken, even on FB, in years. Don't get me wrong, I don't want them to take their wishes back. I love that they made those wishes. It just feels a bit weird.

It's kind of like your twelve year old self wishing your forty year old self Happy Birthday. Think about it. Do those two people have anything in common? I'm not sure my two selves will. Similar yes, but oh so different. I'm thinking at forty, I still won't be having a planned party. I'm sure I'll be razzed about going over-the-hill, and there will be lots of death decorations. But the twelve year old in me still wants the laser tag party. Maybe next year.

He is my son, no?

On the left we have Oliver in May at approximately 7 months. On the right we have yours truly when I was about 3, I think. I know we're related but sheesh! Eyes, nose, mouth, face shape are almost identical! I think our ears are even similar.

'Life as a Coffee'

Stumbled across this and just had to repost.

---

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university Professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the Prof. went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups:
porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them
to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the Prof. said "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. That all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So friend, don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee instead.

Consumerism

I've been trying to de-clutter my life for awhile, with limited success. Seems just when I clear an area I find something else to fill it with.

Ethan and I have some friends who recently also had a baby boy and posted a gift-giving guide of sorts that I really liked. I thought I'd repost some of their thoughts here since I'd like to promote a lot of the same things for O that they're doing for their son.

[quoting]

After a lot of careful thought, Steven and I have made some tough calls regarding the kinds of stuff–particularly baby stuff, but also just stuff in general–that we want around our house. These decisions are ethical and practical ones that came about as an extension of our vegan and eco-friendly philosophies. . . we are trying our best to raise him to respect and revere the world, and to live a safe and cruelty-free life as much as is practically possible. In that spirit, we ask that when it comes to gift-giving times (like holidays and birthdays) you’ll join us in our efforts to raise strong kids by resisting the urge to buy “junk toys” and the commercialized clutter advertised on TV.

It’s important to us to be mindful and thoughtful about the things we allow into our home. It’s our goal to lead our family life as humanely, naturally, imaginatively, non-materialistically, and eco-friendly as we can. We’re therefore asking for your support in keeping the following out of our household:

• plastic toys/accessories
• Wal*Mart products (see below)
  
• things made in China (or anywhere that sweatshop labor is used and/or workers are treated unethically)
• things containing animal (by)products (like wool, leather, beeswax, etc.)
• licensed characters (Dora, Elmo, Disney, Barney, Bob the Builder, etc.)

. . .

We realize there’s a steep learning curve, but we’re excited to try it with everyone. Here are some different gift ideas:

• Spend time together. The best gift is a visit. Activities need not be exotic. A trip to the fire station, a performance, or a trip to the swimming pool with you would be special.
• Encourage his hobbies/interests (obviously, this is most practical when he is a bit older). Talk to [him] to discover what he would like to do. A class in martial arts, trapeze, music, gymnastics, or dance might be perfect. We will provide transportation and arrange the details. Each time he goes to class, we’ll remind him that this experience was a gift from you.
• Choose toys that have no real end point, or winners and losers. A box of scarves from a second-hand store, or irregular handmade building blocks, would be great. These are surprisingly satisfying to children. We love creative, nonviolent toys!
• Choose a toy you remember from your childhood-such as a hula-hoop, wooden airplane, or red wagon. A story about you as a child using that toy would be a great thrill for him.
• Make something–a hat, a kite, a checkers board. Kids sense the difference when someone cares enough to make them something.
• Honor him with a donation to a nonprofit organization that addresses his/our family’s concerns. Talk to us (him when he gets older) to find the best fit. Humane societies, environmental organizations, and food banks resonate with the concerns of many children. Even the very young understand the importance of giving. (Oxfam has lots of great donation gift ideas here.)
• Purchase natural, organic, and ethically produced toys. (See links in the post script for ideas and info.)

. . . here are some links for further reading if you’re interested:

• No More Junk Toys: Rethinking Children’s Gifts
• Kids and Commercialism
• The Safety of Plastic
• Plastic Products at a Glance
• As More Toys Are Recalled, Trail Ends in China
• Wal-Mart Sweatshops In China: Report Released Jointly by CLW and the National Labor Committee
• Wikipedia on Criticisms of Wal*Mart
• From War Chests to Toy Chests: How to change your child’s worldview for the better, one toy at a time
• Mothering.com’s Ethical Shopping Guide (Toys)
• EthicalShopping.com: Toys

[/quoting]
What I love about this is it makes everything more meaningful, and long lasting. I much prefer things that are organic, wooden, and do not have licensed characters on them. However, I'm not completely vegan like they are, nor am I boycotting Walmart as I have succombed to their amazing selection and great prices. But I like making myself think about what I'm buying and why I'm buying it.
We do already have a bunch of plastic toys for O; however a large portion of them are hand me downs. I love that we're recycling toys and clothes in that way. We're still using disposable diapers, that don't decompose and we're using plastic bottles to feed O too. But I'm trying to make better choices and I hope you will too when it comes to Christmas's and Birthdays. For O but also for me.

Well that was short lived

O decided not to sleep through the night for the past three nights. He woke up once on Wednesday, and twice on Thursday and Friday. Tonight I woke him up about 11 to feed and change him, hoping that will keep him asleep longer into the wee hours of the morning. He must be going through another growth spurt because he's been a lot hungrier, even in the daytime.
Just when I think I've got him figured out, he changes things up on me.

A friend recently asked me what the best part of being a mom was for me. I hadn't reflected on it since O was born, just hadn't had the brain power or time to do that! :) But it's been on my mind ever since. So far my favorite part of being a mom is O's recognition of me. His grins and smiles when he sees me in the morning, how his little arms are starting to hold on to me as much as I hold on to him.

I've talked with various family members over the past few years about how I didn't really know what I wanted to do as an occupation in college. I finished my major because I wanted to be done and not spend more time in school. And then how I decided while I was pregnant that being a mom was really what I had wanted for most of my life. I still think being a mom is what I most want to do. I don't however think I'm prepared for it even now. Mostly because so far being a mom makes me totally focus on my baby, and then I forget to think about what I'm doing, to think about me and how I'm changing.
I think I will eventually go back to work. In the sense that I will leave the house in the morning and get paid to do something totally unrelated to being a mom. I still have another part of me that will need that I think; a way to keep my brain and social skills sharp and current. Maybe I will eventually get my masters in accounting or finance and do that kind of work. Who knows what will happen.
For today, I'm O's mom. And it's just what I want to be. Sleep deprived and all.